It doesn’t always end after ‘it’s over.’
Getting over an ex is not always easy. It doesn’t matter whether you were together for a long time or just a couple of months as long as you had a powerful bond. Many people assume that getting into a new relationship means that they have gotten over their exes. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
There are very many people out there who have gone years with other partners without fully getting over their old flames. These old flames end up poisoning the new bonds and preventing any hopes you may have of being in a healthy relationship. Here are a few signs that will help you figure out if you are in this same sinking boat so you can get out.
Signs you aren’t really over your ex
1. You keep talking about them
Every chance you get you are always talking about the one that got away, how awesome they were and how much you miss them. If this is you, then you are still holding on. However, this is not the only way the sign manifests.
Some people take the opposite route and keep talking smack about their exes. You keep complaining about how annoying they were and lamenting your decision even to date him or her in the first place. You may think that talking about them negatively means you have moved on, but the truth is that you are still hung up.
2. Social media stalking
If you keep checking their social media, then you are not 100% over your ex. To a lot of people, social media stalking counts as micro-cheating according to Single’s Space if you happen to be in another relationship. Why? Because it takes a certain amount of emotional investment to keep checking up on someone you claim to have completely let go.
3. Obsession with their new partners
Stalking your ex’s new partners is also a sign that you have a lot of work to do on yourself. Most people do this as a way of scoping out the replacement. You either end up feeling threatened for the new flames or sorry that they do not match the bar you set. Neither of these are healthy reactions to be having if you have truly moved on.
4. Constant comparing your new love to your old flame
Comparing is by far the most common sign. You could be comparing either bad or good traits. The point is that you have set that old relationship as the standard by which you intend on measuring any other new one. Things turn very toxic very fast and therefore comparing is something you should avoid at all costs.
5. Hooking up is not out of the question for you
Hooking up is plain and straightforward. If your ex calls you and asks for a hookup and your answer is anything but ‘heck no’ then you are hung up.
6. One too many “accidental” calls or texts
Finally, those drunken texts you send in the middle of the night are never accidental. It is your subconscious trying to tell you that there are some unresolved emotions on your side.
It is pretty clear that being hung up on an ex can manifest itself in many different ways. Whether you keep thinking about them, talking about them or even reaching out to them, you have a lot to work on. However do not be too hard on yourself. It takes time to let go. The most important step is realizing and accepting that you are still emotionally invested. Once you get to this realization letting go will become a lot easier for you.